


afraid

by ghcsttown



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: (kinda), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Swearing, i only know how to write angst i am SORRY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-23 02:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23637436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghcsttown/pseuds/ghcsttown
Summary: Henry was just trying to sleep, and Alex Claremont-Diaz just had to fly to London. At 3 am.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 10
Kudos: 107





	afraid

**Author's Note:**

> context!
> 
> takes place BEFORE new years and BEFORE all the canon get together.

It’s a hot night in Kensington.

Henry has the fan blasting, oscillating around the room, a soft buzz flowing through. He’s always loved the sound of the fan. It sounds like the ocean. Happy. 

His back burns against the sheets, silently praying for them to magically turn to ice. 

Henry’s bedroom is dark, the only light flooding in from his open windows and the new notification projecting bright light onto his ceiling. He curses at the loud buzz cutting off the lullaby of the fan. 

He rolls onto his stomach, groaning as the pressure shifts onto his bruised ribs. (He’d fallen off his horse that morning. Bea told him to see the doctor on staff, but he refused.)

Message:

Shaan

Mr. Claremont is here. Told him you were sleeping but he ran past. Calling security now

Henry curses, rubbing his eyes. What the fuck is Alex Claremont-Diaz doing in London at 3am? Shouldn’t he be back in DC, kissing some random girl in front of the paparazzi?

Message:

To Shaan

It’s all right. You can call off security.

He closes his phone, flipping onto his back and sighing, staring up at the black ceiling, waiting for Alex to crash into his room. He should probably put on some pants. 

When Alex throws open Henry’s door, he’s just finished putting on a pair of questionably clean fleece pants he’s found on the floor. 

Alex turns on the lights, slamming the heavy oak door behind him. Henry winces at the crash, knowing it probably echoed throughout the palace. 

“We need to talk,” Alex says, breathing hard as the tension between them thickens. 

“Have you just run up the stairs?” Henry asks, looking Alex up and down. 

“Shut up.” Alex steps closer to Henry. “We have to talk.”

Henry searches Alex’s face for any sense of emotion. He’s close enough to touch at this point, and Henry wants to kick himself. He’s so stupid for letting himself fall in love with someone who hates him so much. He finally tears his eyes away from Alex’s soft features.

“Right. Sit down then,” Henry sighs, clutching his ribs as he sits back down on his bed, trying to drown out whatever the hell it is that he’s feeling by focusing on the sound of the fan again. 

“I’ll stand.”

“Why’ve you come, Alex?” Henry asks, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. 

“We need to-“

“Yeah, we need to talk. About what?” 

“Us.” Alex says, and Henry snaps up to look at him. His heart is beating nearly out of his chest, and he can’t seem to calm it down. “Our contract.” Oh. Well... he should’ve known not to get his hopes up. 

“What about it, then?” Henry spits, cursing himself out on the inside for letting his feelings for Alex get in the way. 

“You need to do some work, too,” Alex seethes. “Post something, respond to my messages, act like you give a shit about this deal.”

Henry holds eye contact, staring into chocolate brown eyes. He wishes he could stare into them all the time. He wishes he could grab Alex by the back of the neck, pull him close and not have to listen to whatever aggression the first son fires at him. 

“Have you come here just to yell at me?” Henry asks. 

“No! I’ve come here to get you to do shit, to work for once in your life.” Alex hisses. “This isn’t just about you. This is about me, my mom, and your whole family. Pretend you care. If you’re gonna work for anything in life, make it this.”

“You’re saying I’ve never worked for anything?” Henry raises his voice, standing up and walking towards Alex.

“Yes!” Alex yells, and Henry doesn’t even worry about him waking other people up. His blood is boiling as he stares down at the shorter boy. “All you do, all day, is sit around in a fancy ass castle, ride horses, and eat gourmet food! You don’t do shit, Henry!”

“You’re not fucking worth it,” Henry spits. “We can just cancel the whole God forsaken thing. I don’t wanna be near you anymore. You can show yourself out, Alex.” Henry starts to walk back to his bed.

“What the fuck, Henry!” Alex shouts, grabbing Henry by the shoulder and spinning him around to face him. “You need to get your shit together. There’s no reason to not do this, you God damn coward!” He pushes Henry back once they’re close again. 

Henry stumbles and clutches his ribs. 

“Get. Out.” Henry seethes. “Get the fuck out!”

“No! Why can’t you do this? What the hell are you so scared of, Henry? Answer me!” Alex yells, shaking Henry from where he’s staggered backwards.

“You!” Henry shouts back, letting his legs collapse as he sits back down on the side of bed, not even daring to look at Alex. 

His ribs ache and he just wants to go back to sleep. But he can’t. 

“I’m afraid of you, Alex.” Henry’s voice lowers to a whisper, and muted footsteps against blood red carpet trail towards him, until Alex is sitting by his side. He can barely get the words out. “We... we had a moment... in the hospital, when we just had a nice conversation. For a moment we weren’t rivals... we weren’t anything except for two dumb millennials hiding in a storage cupboard.”

He finally glances to the side where Alex sits, his hair blocking the way partially. But from what he does see, Alex is staring at him, wide eyed and dumbfounded. 

“And when we got out you just...” Henry whispers, so faint that he’s not sure Alex can hear him anymore. He jams the heels of his hands into his eyes to prevent himself from crying. 

“You looked at me like you could love me. And- and I didn’t even want to let myself think that it was possible. Loving you was the worst choice I’ve ever made, and it scared the hell out of me. You scare the hell out of me, Alex. You really do.” Henry’s voice shakes. 

He feels a strand of hair get tucked behind his ear, and he looks over at Alex, and he is a sight to see.

Alex’s hair is messed up, and Henry knows it’s because Alex dragged his hands through it. He does that when he gets nervous. 

But most of all, there's a small, knowing smile resting on his face. Henry loves that smile. It’s not the one from the magazines or the paparazzi, it’s real. It’s Alex. 

“Henry...” Alex whispers, holding the princes jaw. “You shouldn’t be afraid of me.” 

Their eyes meet, blue and brown swirling together in perfect harmony. Alex brushes his thumb along Henry’s cheek, wiping away stray tears that managed to escape. 

Henry swears he must be crazy, because it seems like Alex is leaning in. 

“I don’t want to get my hopes up,” Henry whispers back. “I don’t want to trick myself into believing you could love me too.” His eyes fall to Alex’s lips. 

“Then don’t.”

His brain catches up to his body a second later, realizing that, yes, he is indeed kissing the FSOTUS. 

‘I’ve died.’ Henry thinks. ‘I’ve died and this is my final gift before leaving Earth. My Grandmother would be horrified.’

When they pull back, Henry’s heart is beating through his chest again. Alex puts his hand on Henry’s rib, trailing a finger down the bright purple mark. Henry’s body jolts on impulse a little. 

He presses their foreheads together. 

“What happened?” Alex finally asks. He hadn’t wanted to before. He didn’t want emotions to get in the way of what he had to say.

“Fell off a horse,” Henry laughs, bringing his hand up to trail down Alex’s jaw and to the back of the neck.

He’s been wanting to pull him close and kiss him since he walked in. 

So he does.

**Author's Note:**

> visit me on tumblr! 
> 
> ghcsthouse


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